O Captain my Captain

I've always wanted to write something about comedy. It is one of my favourite genres and I have a fairly extensive collection of funny films. I wanted to write about my favourite comedies and my list of top comedians and how I absolutely adore stand up comedy, which is the rawest form of the art. I wanted to write about how I love slapstick and "in your face" jokes like Zoolander and Ace Ventura. But that I also love the more refined and caustic type, such as Monty Python and Blackadder.

And then it all fell apart. Suddenly, I no longer wanted to write a funny piece (as funny as I can be, which is not a lot). I could no longer write about these things because on August 11th comedy suffered an immeasurable loss. Robin Williams passed away and neither me nor the rest of the world felt like laughing anymore. A piece of my childhood died. A man I truly admired and loved for what he did and how he made me feel, left us.

 July 21, 1951 - August 11, 2014

I think the first time I ever saw Robin Williams act was when he did Popeye. I was extremely young and had no idea who that man was. I could tell that he was good at what he did but I could not realise just how good. But then came other films. I quickly learnt that he could be funny, or not so funny. He could be sad, angry or downright insane. He had a wide gamut and he delivered all of his roles with extreme conviction. He had to make you laugh and he had to make you cry and he had to make you feel. And he could. And he did.

O Captain my captain...

He was so funny and talented and full of life. But he was also sombre, with a hint of sadness in his eyes and a look that cried for help. What I loved about him was how his eyes squinted when he smiled. It's very hard for me to explain what I saw when he smiled like that. He had a tenderness to him that melted your heart every time. And it was there that you could sense that he also had a bleeding heart. You could see that in his films. Films like Awakenings or What Dreams May Come or Jacob the Liar. You could see that in Dead Poets Society, Good Will Hunting and Patch Adams. And you could definitely see this in his most heart wrenching film of all (in my humble opinion) The Fisher King. That he was not acting. That he really hurt inside. And you believed him.

That look...

And then there was the roller coaster ride. Then there was Aladdin and Mrs. Doubtfire and The Birdcage. And my personal favourite, his 2002 Robin Williams: Live on Broadway. The magnificent comedian going at a thousand miles an hour and delivering some of the best comedy we have ever seen. And you could not help but be in awe of his amazing energy and talent. And you forgot all about the sadness in his eyes. Maybe that's why he did it. Maybe he compensated for that lack of happiness in his soul by making other people laugh.

A standing ovation to you sir!!!

I cannot begin to express how much his loss has saddened me. I cannot even explain it myself. I suppose it has something to do with the fact that it hurts me to know that deep down he felt alone and scared and sad. He, of all people, did not deserve that. A very sad ending to a very soulful story. I have no way and I do not wish to say goodbye to this brilliant star but I will borrow the Academy's words and just say "Genie, you're free".